Self-introduction letter
Subject: Self-introduction letter to Professor Blackstone by Chin Jin Han
Dear Professor Blackstone,
This is Jin Han from your effective communication
class. I hope this letter helps you to understand me a little bit more. I
graduated from Republic Polytechnic in 2018 with a Diploma in Aerospace
Engineering. Before I decided to go for a degree study, I had worked in
the civil engineering industry for a year due to the decline in the aerospace
industry from the Covid-19 situation. I had a tough time out in the field due to a lack of knowledge on the basics of civil engineering such as reading schematic drawings and materials for structural integrity tests. My experience of working in the engineering sector without knowledge contributed significantly towards my decision to pursue a degree in mechanical engineering so that I can broaden my knowledge for general engineering which is
applicable for different engineering sectors instead of putting all focus of
engineering on the aerospace aspect.
My involvement in projects during national service as a finance clerk made me realize that one of my strengths in
communication is I am always fair in expressing my ideas, my feedback, or
opinions during discussions. One of my character traits is to be
considerate and put myself into the shoes of others to look at things from a
different perspective.
However, when it comes to spoken communication, there
is also a weakness that I would highlight, which is to clearly deliver an intended
message content clear and precise manner with the use of proper English. Often there is a need to further elaborate or use
examples to help give a better picture of the message.
By the end of this module, I would like to improve on my communication weakness of being able to communicate in a clear and precise manner be it in spoken or written communication. Furthermore, I would like to be able to give valuable constructive feedback professionally for other people to make improvements instead of viewing feedback as criticism. Thank you for your time in reading this introduction letter and I look forward to attending your class weekly.
Best regards,
Jin Han
Edited on 1/26/2021
Commented on
Fan Phan
Quek Wei Hau
Victor Chua
Jayme Lim
Hi Jin Han, great work on writing up this letter. Keep up the good work as always. There is only one part where you might want to take note which is the third paragraph second line where " Which is " is the beginning of your letter, i feel that you can change it to" which is" instead of starting a sentence with which. Other than that, well done bro :)
ReplyDeleteHi Victor, thank you so much for your constructive feedback that starting of the sentence with "Which is" is something that I often use, I will refrain from using it as much as possible. Have a good day ahead.
DeleteHi Jin Han, Thank you for writing this letter. The introduction about the your your past working experience were very detailed! I can understand your struggles where you were forced to a work in a different environment due to Covid as I too have been through it before. Overall I feel that the letter is well written. However, you might want to rephrase one of your sentence in the second paragraph, Instead of "This is a trait of my character which is to be considerate and put myself into the shoe of others to look at things from a different perspective" , you can write it as "This character trait of mine helps me to put myself in another person's shoe from there, I'm able to look at others opinion from a different perspective". Hope that my suggestion helps. Once again, thank you for writing this awesome letter and see you around in school!
ReplyDeleteHi Jayme, Thank you so much for pointing out the specific part of the letter was good and other parts that require improvement. I appreciate the the feedback and will continue to work on it to make improvements!
DeleteHello Jin Han! Thank you for your letter. I really like the way you detailed your past experiences in the first paragraph. This is just a suggestion, but you could break up the first paragraph into 2 parts, starting from "My experience...". I believe this will help make your letter even easier to read.
ReplyDeleteOverall, I really liked your letter! I hope that you achieve your goals and to get to know you better during this module.
Valerie
Hi Valerie, big thanks to the suggestion, I do realized that it can be separated into smaller parts so that it is easier for the readers to read as its too much word count for 1 paragraph compared to the others. I definitely hope I can get to know you better during this module, so that we can work hard together.
DeleteDear Jin Han,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this fairly clear and informative letter. You do a good job covering the scope of the assignment as you explain your educational and NS job background, your experience working in civil engineering, leading to your study at SIT, and your somm skills needs. It's also interesting for us to learn about your aim to give "valuable constructive feedback professionally."
Of course, the goals you have set for yourself are all com skill areas we will address in the module. For starters, although this letter is quite fluent, there are some language issues to take note of:
1. verb issues
-- Before I have decided to go for a degree study, I have worked in the civil engineering industry for a year due to the decline in the aerospace industry from the Covid-19 situation. > (tense)
Before I decided to go for a degree study, I had worked in the civil engineering industry for a year due to the decline in the aerospace industry from the Covid-19 situation.
-- I have a tough time out in the field because I have no knowledge of the basics of civil engineering such as reading schematic drawings and materials for structural integrity tests. > (tense) ?
-- My involvement in projects during national service as a finance clerk have make me realized ... >
(subject-verb disagreement/word form)
My involvement in projects during national service as a finance clerk made me realize...
2. phrasing
-- This is a trait of my character which is to be considerate and put myself into the shoe of others to look at things from a different perspective. >
One of my character traits is to be considerate and put myself into the shoes of others to look at things from a different perspective.
I look forward to learning more about you in the coming weeks.
Best wishes,
Brad
Happy Chinese New Year Professor Blackstone! Thank you very much for the constructive feedback, I appreciate it. I have made the necessary amendments on my introduction letter. Have a good day!
DeleteRegards,
Jin Han